Greetings fellow travelers,
I did 7/7 Morning pages writing three pages each day. I am so happy I reached so many pages this week and I am very excited about doing that.
My Artist’s Date I scheduled in my calendar the exact day and time I was going to do it. I decided to get a camera that could record video. I took cab to the local electronics store and on the way I almost made a u turn and was going to go buy something “practical” like clothes. I wrestled with myself and decided to let my inner child have her camera. I happily got to the electronics store and met the store clerk who helped me selecting my camera. The camera I purchased was on sale and later I learned was the exact same brand and model used by my favorite vlogger Charles Trippy on CTFxC. So, that made the purchase all the more special in addition to being significanly less than what I thought I was going to have to pay. After I left the electronics store, I was hungry and went to an Asian restaraunt where I had the most delicious pineapple and coconut smoothie I ever had and sweet and sour chicken. I wish my camera was fully charged so I could take a picture of the meal that was presented to me. Then I explored a professional camera store which had cameras hundreds of dollars outside of my price range. They had photography classes and expert staff. It made me wonder if I ever wanted to take photography seriously I could go there to dig in deeper. Right now I need to learn how to use my $99 Cannon camera. Finally, I decided to go to the dollar store where I could purchase whimsical items for my Artist’s Altar. I gravitated towards this heart with a rainbow which to me symbolized the love shared between me and my boyfriend who is also doing Walking In This World with me. I also proceeded to purchase artificial lilacs flowers in blue, purple, and white. I got some gel clings of spring flowers and butterflies for my bathroom mirror. As I exited I made an impulse purchase to get jellybelly beans, which had to my joy my favorite flavor buttered popcorn. I spent a total of an hour and forty minutes to do all of these wonderful experiences for my Artist’s Date.
I did my walk indoors in my apartment building which had several floors with my boyfriend. We quitely went up and down the halls while holding and hands which was very romantic. Julia Cameron is totally right. It’s awesome to walk with loved ones.
Synchronicity was the fact that my camera that I purchased was on saled $80 off. Pluse the memory card was also on sale. I walked out of the store with money still in my pocket.
Issues of recovery. In Assertiveness class I came to realize that I identify myself as Buffy, that is my inner child. That when I was little that’s all I remember my family calling me. It wasn’t until I started kindgeraten that I first learned that my legal name is really Wenona. I remember sitting in the office with a school administrator and my mother and the administrator asked me what my name was. I knew that answer, and proudly said “My name is Buffy!” The administrator twisted her face and looked all confused like I had said the wrong name and began looking at paperwok and then suddenly my mom began snickering in the corner. My mother than explained to the woman that everybody at home calls me Buffy. But my teachers in school never called me Buffy they only would call me Wenona and there began the split to my identity. Add to it that I grew up in foster homes it became harder and harder to assert to people that the name I identify with and resonate with me is Buffy. So, I want to assert in my life I am Buffy. That is who I see myself as. That is who my identity is. I believe the more I assert that I am Buffy the more that I can assert other aspects of my personality again including my creativity.
I am happy to say that I have been playing my Native American flute. Julia Cameron says in Wakling In This World that if you want to learn to play the piano you need to touch the keys. So, I touch the holes in my flute and blew into it. I played scales and practiced fingering. I used to play the Clarinet in school for about 10 years, and I used to be on a very rigid practice schedule everyday. At one point I used to play my clarinet 6 hours a day and I used to be in three bands, two orchestras, and a musical. I don’t know if I want to get that intense with my Native American flute, but I do know the value of regular practice. THe photo in this blog is a picture of me playing my Native American flute at Alverno College.